“Ah ha” Moment with Paul Chilvers

At GLIDE’s Family Youth and Childcare Center (FYCC), kids continue to learn and grow after the last school bell rings. FYCC’s After School Program provides homework help and structured enrichment activities to give kids a full and specialized after school experience. Get to know Paul Chilvers, FYCC Lead Teacher for Grades 3-5.

Paul Chilvers, FYCC Lead Teacher, Grades 3-5

What was your first GLIDE experience?
My first GLIDE experience was applying for the job as the lead teacher. Filming for “The Pursuit of Happyness” was still happening. The neighborhood was kind of rough, but I am from New York, so it didn’t scare me off.

What are your passions?
I have always been driven by a strong moral center and a desire to make an impression on the world. Teaching has always been my passion, and I look for ways to enrich the lives of others. I joke with my friends about the “Ah ha” moment you get when you are a teacher.  When you are teaching a young child a difficult concept, and all of a sudden, it clicks, and they say “Oooohhhhhh!!!” and get it.  That moment is like candy to me (without the calories).

Which of GLIDE’s Core Values do you strongly identify with? Why?
Loving and Hopeful is definitely my favorite value. In my work with the children it’s easy to see.

What song would be YOUR GLIDE soundtrack?
The Superman theme.

Cecil once said, “There’s no one way to live your life as long as you are authentic.” What does living an authentic life mean to you?
I believe we all have an innate sense of right and wrong. We can all FEEL good when we help a kid understand a rough math concept, or play tag with them. We can understand the RIGHTness of it. If we are living true to ourselves, and not lying to ourselves about anything, we are authentic. I feel like laughter and happiness are the natural outcomes of living authentically. There have been studies that show people who self-delude have a more challenged sense of humor. Understanding why something is funny requires insight, intelligence and honesty with one’s self. I look to make happiness in others.

GLIDE’s Soul Kitchen: Emma Jean Foster Fiege

In collaboration with videographer Pete Lee, GLIDE presents its Soul Kitchen video series – a project featuring people from the GLIDE community sharing their music, poetry, or simply telling their stories. The GLIDE Sanctuary serves as a backdrop for these wonderfully intimate performances. This growing documentary series illustrates the passion, vibrance, and creative diversity of the GLIDE community.

Check out Emma Jean Foster Fiege’s moving performance of “Take that Space”

Emma Jean, a beloved member of GLIDE’s musical family, tells us, “Take that space it’s got your name on it… It applies to women who are going through addiction, women who do not have a clue that they have space.” Emma Jean co-facilitates The Healing Thru Negro Spirituals Drop-In support groups Wednesday afternoons at the GLIDE Women’s Center.

Since joining GLIDE over 30 years ago, Emma Jean Foster has sung lead vocals and or recorded with the following groups: John Turk Jr. and The Third Street Annex, Sylvester, Jeannie Foster ‘Band, The Chain of Fools of Santa Cruz, The Scott Brothers, The Soul Spots, Big Bang Beat, MVP, Joel Nelson Productions, Emma Jean Foster and American Soul, Emma Jean and The Soul Spots, Linda Tillery and The Cultural Heritage Choir, Eric Bibb, Michael Narada Walden, Tod Rudgren, Taj Mahal, Wilson Pickett, Sweet Honey In The Rock, and many others.

She has traveled all over the world with various groups performing at the following venues: Carnegie Hall in New York, The Berlin Jazz Festival in Berlin, Germany, The Edmonton Folk Music Festival, The San Francisco Opera House, Grace Cathedral in San Francisco, The Jasper Folk Music Festival, The Masonic Temple in San Francisco, The Mill Valley Film Festival, The Vancouver Folk Music Festival, The Kennedy Center, The Shanghai World Expo 2010 in China, The Music Museum in Amsterdam in the Netherlands and so many more.

GLIDE’s Digital Eco-System: Community Connection

People connect with GLIDE every day in a large variety of ways – from volunteers in our Daily Free Meals Program, to members of the Board of Trustees, to corporate and community partners, GLIDE’s family of supporters is both large and diverse.

In the age of technology GLIDE has embraced social media as a way of reaching more folks and deepening our connection with our supporters. Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Vimeo, Pinterest, and this blog, have enabled GLIDE to stay in touch with the spectrum of GLIDE’s family.

Join GLIDE’s Digital Eco-System today and stay in touch and informed!

www.facebook.com/glidesf

www.twitter.com/glidesf

www.youtube.com/glidefoundation

www.vimeo.com

www.pinterest.com/glidesf

Truth-Telling with Talilah Douglas

by Talilah Douglas, GLIDE Women’s Center, Domestic Violence Specialist

Get to know Talilah Douglas, GLIDE Women’s Center Domestic Violence Specialist. The Women’s Center is a domestic violence program with a unique approach to transforming lives providing holistic healing, addressing emotions, mind, body, spirit and relationships. Program services are designed to help women who face intimate partner violence and associated concerns such as co-dependence, substance abuse, mental health issues and homelessness.  The Women’s Center aims to move survivors of violence from crisis to confidence, from hopelessness to long term change.

Talilah Douglas, GLIDE Women’s Center, Domestic Violence Specialist

What was your first GLIDE experience?
I came here after working at the Homeless Children’s Network. The first impression I had of GLIDE was that it was an amazing place for women. I saw similarities rather than differences between myself and participants in the Women’s Circle. They embraced me and I embraced them. I saw myself as one of them, not as separate from them.

Which of GLIDE’s Core Values do you strongly identify with and why?
Truth-telling. There’s something unique about working at a place with values, a place that embodies its values rather than just writing them down and never looking at them again. For me, truth-telling is about finding my own journey and my own voice. I like that I’m able to tell the truth without being punished or reprimanded for it at GLIDE. There are lots of places that say they have a safe environment for people to tell the truth just because they think that they have to say that… At GLIDE, you can tell the truth, and the leaders of the organization embrace that value, especially Rita (Shimmin). Rita has always been someone I can tell the truth to, and I think it’s amazing that she is the kind of Co-Executive Director that you can have a personal relationship with and express your concerns to.

Founding President, Janice Mirikitani once said, “Our struggle has ensured our survival.” Share the lessons you have learned from personal struggles that created new possibilities for growth and freedom?
First I should say that I am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. Each of us gets lessons that are not always pleasant, but that are designed to teach us something important. I have learned to embrace my own lessons—they are gifts given to me for a purpose and they have taught me how to support and help other people. It took time for me to not have a pity party with myself over the things that have happened in my life and it took time for me not to be in a beat-up place. But our trials and tribulations are not to break or destroy us, they make us stronger, better, wiser people. We can use the things that we have learned from our hardships to teach others.

What is your GLIDE soundtrack?
First would be “So Blessed” by Joe Scott. Second on the soundtrack is “Stand” by Donnie McClurkin. Last is a song we play in the Women’s Center, “Keep On” by D Train.

I like… beaches, music, nature, and good food.
I hope… for a more compassionate and conscious world.
I wish… that every child could grow up feeling so much love that as an adult they could never express hate.

GLIDE Families Create Community

GLIDE’s Family Resource Center (FRC) offers a variety of culturally appropriate family-oriented programs that give parents the tools they need to support their child’s development. Programs include family-focused activities that promote school readiness and success, build community through parent and family classes, workshops and events. The FRC also offers long-term support to families, creating deep and lasting relationships. Through the FRC, parents and kids receive information and support around literacy, nutrition, community resources, family tutoring, case management, and basic needs assistance.

There is an added benefit for families engaged with the FRC. FRC Coordinator, Theresa Calderon, shares, “Families work hard and often don’t have time for much else. They can connect with other families here, bringing them out of isolation.” This sense of community among parents is seen at FRC workshops ranging from a Cantonese Language Parents group to a Cooking and Nutrition class series hosted by GLIDE’s Daily Free Meals Program.

FRC offerings are not limited to families with children enrolled in GLIDE’s Family Youth and Childcare Center – they are open to any family in Tenderloin community seeking support.

Loving and Forgiving Yourself

by Katherine D’Amato, HROI Intern

Today’s entry comes to us from Katherine D’Amato, an intern in Human Resources and Organizational Integration (HROI). Katherine shares how GLIDE has been a place that has helped her grow in her ability to love others and love herself.

“For so many people who come with so many wounds, the biggest issue is being able to forgive themselves. When you live on the margins, part of the training is that you are trained to hate yourself.” –Rev. Dr. Karen Oliveto

There are many different ways that we limit and punish ourselves. My particular flavor is perfectionism with a twist of anxiety, guilt, and fear. For the past six months, I’ve been interning at GLIDE as part of my Masters in Social Work program, after a career shift from management consulting. In particular, I’ve been working with Co-Directors of Human Resources and Organizational Integration, James Lin and Isabel Montilla, and Co-Executive Director, Rita Shimmin, on projects related to staff development and organizational culture.

One afternoon in January, I met with two staff members to discuss our application for a $25,000 contest sponsored by The Fetzer Institute, whose mission is to develop public awareness of the power of love and forgiveness. Fetzer required all applicants to submit a video as part of the application. I had assumed that we would use some existing GLIDE content, so I was alarmed when it became clear that we would be working with a videographer to create an entirely new piece.

My first reaction? Complete panic. “I don’t have the time to do this.” “There are so many other things on our plates right now.” “Is this really the best plan?” “How in the world are we going to plan, shoot, and edit a high-quality video in enough time?!?”

At GLIDE, it’s not about perfection—it’s about being authentic and trusting each other. Which is why, ultimately, things did come together. The resulting video is a testament to the vision and hard work of our team, which included James Lin, Dori Caminong (Manager of Legacy and Creative Development), Pete Lee (videographer and former FYCC staff), and myself.

I was thrilled with the video we produced. But along the way, I often struggled—not with making deadlines, but with my own emotional experience of the process. During the interviews, I felt insecure and overly rigid. Later I felt guilty when I couldn’t come up with the “perfect” storyline to weave together the clips. I found myself being irritated that we had yet another revision to do and I kept second-guessing my insights.

But in the midst of my irritation and second-guessing, on the fifth or sixth time watching the videos, I finally truly heard Karen Oliveto’s words: “For so many people who come with so many wounds…part of the training is that you are trained to hate yourself.” Perfectionism, anxiety, guilt, and fear—that was the training I had received.

In another clip, this one from Rita Shimmin: “When you don’t forgive, you live in the past. We are about people living in the present and being able to move forward.”

These things don’t happen overnight. But things do shift—and continue to shift. I have become more aware of all the ways we are impacted by social conditioning. I’m learning that the more open I can be about my own experiences and my own history, the more that other people will be freer to do the same. And some part of me—not just in my brain—is starting to realize how important it is to love and forgive myself. This work on self-love and self-forgiveness is critical, since it impacts not only how we treat ourselves but also how we connect with clients and with staff.

Karen and Rita’s words remind me that we are each capable of treating people—including ourselves—with unconditional love and radical inclusivity. And that is certainly something worth making a video about.

Check out GLIDE’s video submission here and be sure to click LOVE IT here to help GLIDE win the $5,000 community vote!

 

A Valentine’s Day Wish and Story of Unconditional Love

by Rachel Carroll, Executive Assistant to Co-Executive Director, Rita Shimmin

Rahel Carroll and her daughter, Lauren

18 months is the gestational period of an elephant.  It is also what I think of as mine.  18 months is what my adoption process took from the moment I started the paperwork until the moment I held my child.  18 months, 540 days, 12,960 hours… give or take a few.  I would have waited longer, I wish it had been shorter, but ultimately the stars aligned and I was exactly where I was supposed to be at the correct moment.

It turned out that exactly where I was supposed to be was a hotel conference room in Guangzhou, China in October just over 11 years ago. When I thought about becoming a parent, this was not how I envisioned the scene but there I was standing with my family, so nervous and excited. I was worried I would fall over with the 50 cameras of the other families trained on us like paparazzi. Jetlagged from flying the day before, I wasn’t sure what day, time, or time zone I was in. I was breathing the overly air- conditioned air in a hotel conference room that could have been anywhere in the world except the signs on the walls were in Mandarin. This moment when time slowed down and all I could hear was my heartbeat, this was not what I had envisioned or what I had fantasized about when watching sappy romantic comedies.

And yet I knew in my bones that this was exactly how it was supposed to happen for me. Then around a corner and through the door came my child, my daughter, in the arms of her caretaker and accompanied by one of our guides. I know from later pictures and video that there was cheering, all sorts of flashes going off from the cameras, lots of crying as our cobbled together group of strangers with a singular purpose released some of the pent-up energy that was strumming through the room.  Someone had their child, this was real. It was happening for all of us. I know this from pictures and reports. But I have no memory of it. The moment she came in the room all I saw was her.

This child with unruly hair, sticking up all over her head, who I ached to hug and hold. They brought her to me, introduced us, telling my 8 month old that I was her mother; and then, finally, I was able to hold her. I immediately felt the happy tears start as she settled on my hip and in my arms as though she had always been there. She looked up at me with such calm.  She touched my face, and to me she seemed to be saying “what took you so long?”

I was aware of two other children coming into the room and being united with their families but I couldn’t take my eyes off of her for very long. I also became aware of a lot of crying but not from our corner of the universe. My daughter stared at me as I stared at her and an urge to be alone with her came over me. I whisked her away as soon as I could; first posing for pictures; asking questions I almost immediately forgot the answers to (thankfully my mother was there to write everything down) and then escaping to our room as quickly as I could. We had another 10 days with everyone else. I craved privacy, craved time alone with my child who was finally home with me. I was also finally home with her. In those few moments, we were joined, a unit, mother and child. In those first moments I was so grateful that she was there; that I was there; that the thread that connected our lives over the miles led me straight to her.

Cynics will tell you that there is no magic in this process, only bureaucracy, but you will never convince me of that. Out of all of the possible combinations in the world, she and I are together. For me, that is evidence of magic every day. In today’s world there is a lot of emphasis on genetics to answer the questions of who we are and where we come from. My daughter is the reminder for me every day that those questions are much more complicated than bloodlines much more universal than DNA. I was meant to be her mother, of that I am certain, but she carries none of my genetic material. Family is where you find it and who you create it with; it is unconditional love, unconditional acceptance, support in the hard times and laughter in the joy. It is finding those souls, wherever they are in the world, who connect with you, who see you and who love you. I look at my child and I am grateful that she is here; grateful that I am on this journey with her.

My Valentine wish for our GLIDE community is for every one of us to find and create that family; to extend our hands and our hugs to those that need it; to treat each other with respect and compassion; to celebrate the intersections that bring us all together from wherever we were to wherever we are going.

For the People: Freedom to Be

by Lillian Mark, Community Building Division Operations Manager

Last November, GLIDE’s Women’s Center honored International Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR).  TDOR began in 1998 to honor Rita Hester, a member of the transgender community whose murder remains unsolved – like most victims of anti-transgender violence.  Once a year, GLIDE’s Women’s Center honors the transgender men and women who have lost their lives because of hatred, intolerance and prejudice.  In addition, GLIDE’s Women’s Center took this opportunity to build allies for the transgender community, and began by reading this poem:

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out–
Because I was not a Socialist.
Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out–
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out–
Because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me–and there was no one left to speak for me.
(Martin Niemöller, Protestant Pastor, 1892-1984)

Talilah Douglas, Women’s Center Domestic Violence Specialist, read the names of the men and women who have lost their lives to anti-transgender sentiments in the past 12 months (http://www.transgenderdor.org/).  The Women’s Center served as the container for the overwhelming despair and heartache rising to the surface of our skin and into the room.  We listened and we wept.  Zwazzi Sowö, Women’s Center Program Manager, reached over and held the trembling hand of a sister.  I began to wonder if I would survive this reading.

Name: Deoni, Carla, Soraya, Thapelo, Unknown, Paige, Chrissie…
Location: Philadelphia, São Paulo, New Westminster, Antalya, Baltimore, Rio de Janeiro, Oakland, Chicago, Kuruman, Finsbury, Thankassery, Detroit…
Age: 16, 22, 23, 37, 51…
Cause of Death:    Severe head trauma, gunshots, strangulation, burned, stoned, multiple stab wounds…

We remember not only those who have died, but also those who are still trying to survive the atrocities of targeted violence;  those grieving the loss of a loved one(s); those who are afraid to speak up for themselves; and those who are afraid to speak up for others.  For some, this moment magnified the fear and harassment they experience daily because they are transgender.  For some, it triggered memories of survival on the streets and in their own homes, past and present.  All of us are affected.  The time we take to remember this truth is a gift.

GLIDE’s legacy has shown me that it is not what you do, but how you choose to do it that makes a difference.  A friend once asked “How does Rev. Cecil Williams earn the trust and support so many people?”  I wanted to give a well-articulated response that sufficiently summarizes the charisma of this great individual, but instead I did what GLIDE has taught me to do – to reach deep within.  “It’s because Cecil is about love and people.”  There are too few places in this world where all people are allowed (and supported) to experience the fullness of their humanity without shame and judgment.  There are too few places in the world where we can hold people in love without the influence and resistance of our religious, political, cultural, and individual beliefs.  This year, I am grateful for GLIDE’s Women’s Center and all the places within GLIDE’s community where love, compassion, and hope exist.

“If one of us is not free, then none of us are truly free.” – Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Getting into Character: GLIDE Kids Celebrate Black History Month

Classy Martin

Classy Martin, GLIDE’s Children’s Choir Director, is working hard with GLIDE children as they prepare for their upcoming play on Sunday, February 24, celebrating Black History Month. Be sure to join us at the 9AM or 11AM Celebration!

Classy shares a story of getting the actors ready for their performance:

This little boy is working on his character as Cecil Williams in our performance for Black History Month. When I called out “I need someone to play Cecil Williams,” he shot his hands up so fast, I couldn’t say no. His homework is to learn as much as he can about Cecil.

On Sunday, I asked if he was ready to be Cecil and he shook his head yes. Then it hit me. If he is going to learn about Cecil, why not start now? I told him I had to show him something. I brought him and a gang of girls down to Cecil’s office. He had the biggest smile on his face when I told him where we were.

I asked if he wanted to do some of what Cecil does. So we pretended he was Cecil on the phone, Cecil having a meeting. He was soooo into it. Then we snuck on one of Cecil’s dashikis. He literally did not want to take it off. He has never met Cecil before. Next Sunday, I will introduce them. I’m excited already. For his role, he will have an afro wig, big thick glasses, bellbottoms, the whole bit!

National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day

Thursday, Feb. 7 is National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day. Join Pastor Theon and GLIDE HIV Services Manager Paul Harkin in this important day of action!

Event begins at 4.30pm at the front steps of San Francisco City Hall – and then the participants will join together for a candlelight vigil and march to GLIDE. At GLIDE, join us for an evening program with Pastor Theon Johnson and Dr. Malcom John for “Freedom from HIV: What Does It Mean To You?”

There will be FREE HIV testing and STD testing available.