MEN IN PROGRESS – Empowerment in Acknowledgement

Every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon, men gather in GLIDE’s Freedom Hall to learn about the importance of intimacy. “Intimacy is the ability to listen and disclose. To be 100 percent attentive and respond authentically, rather than react,” says Ray White, GLIDE Security Supervisor and Men in Progress Facilitator.

Ray White (left) GLIDE Security Supervisor and Men in Progress Facilitator

Ray White (left) GLIDE Security Supervisor and Men in Progress Facilitator

Men in Progress is GLIDE’s violence cessation program for men and recently expanded from a once per week to a twice per week course, offering two phases of violence intervention education. This expansion is a testament to the success of the program, with several men completing the intensive 52-week Phase I course and moving on to Phase II.

The program is peer-facilitated, empowering men who have been in the program the longest – Senior Advocates – to impart personal knowledge and experience for the benefit of new participants.

Acknowledgement of one’s violence is at the base of Men in Progress. Hamish Sinclair, Men in Progress Facilitator shares, “We realize our violence separates us from our true selves and from those we love. So, the first step on the road to greater intimacy is to acknowledge the truth about our violence. Until we stop our violence, we can’t achieve the intimacy we seek.”

GLIDE Security Program Manager, Israel Canjura (several GLIDE Security Monitors have attended Men in Progress training)

GLIDE Security Program Manager, Israel Canjura (several GLIDE Security Monitors have attended Men in Progress training)

Often, men are surprised to learn the many ways in which they express their violence when they take a look at the list of coercive behaviors. Check out this partial list:

-Monopolizing shared space (playing loud music when your partner is reading
-Last-wording (always having to have the last word in a discussion or argument)
-Usually being late for appointments with your partner
-Walking away (a reverse chase)
-Withholding work that was promised (delaying start-ups and completions)
-Defining the truth (You don’t know what you’re talking about)
-Blaming something else for what you do (I just lost my job/I just started a new job)
-Mimicking your partner (imitating your partner’s tone of voice when he/she is angry)
-Running on (repeating over and over again what you have already made clear)
-Ignoring your partner
-Thumping, pounding or slapping objects in front of your partner
-Making abrupt forceful body movements in your partner’s presence
-Slamming doors
-Restricting your partner’s physical movements (sitting him/her down)
-Pushing your partner

Full list of coercive behaviors.

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Joyce Hayes, celebrating life, love and GLIDE with @doricamino and @edenchanstreetscooper at the 2014 Holiday Jam. A retro photo of Joyce Hayes, a true GLIDE hero, who so strongly believed in supporting children and providing them with stability, education and #unconditionallove. GLIDE regrets to tell our community that Joyce Hayes, an icon in our history and childcare program, passed away on Tuesday, 5/23/2017. Her life, love and legacy will not be forgotten. 
Please take a moment to read this tribute to our beloved "Joy": Shout-out @blueshieldofca volunteers! Our Harm Reduction Team always needs people to help assemble safer injection kits. Distributing these kits to our community members who inject drugs greatly reduces the spread of Hep C and HIV. It's about #publichealth and recognizing the dignity and human rights of ALL people living in our city! #harmreduction #cleansharps

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